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Archive for October, 2008

Ta Dah Da Dah! Announcing Hippy Grandma!

A few months ago, I wrote a blog about being a “hippy grandma in training” and being very excited to be welcoming a new generation of babies into the world.  Well, that excitement catalyzed a new “baby” of my own, a website – “Hippy Grandma: hippy love for generations” selling earth friendly treasures for your grandbabies, their mamas and you!  We sell fair trade and honest trade, exquisite and unique products, mostly “hand crafted” by real grandmas and “spirit grandmas”.

www.hippygrandma.com



Our “Grandmafesto”

Hippy Grandma: hip, happy, hippie women caring for Mother Earth and the next 7 generations!

It’s a state of mind
It’s a movement
It’s a radical BE-INg.

Please come and visit!

Namaste,

Zoey

Women's Life: Self Care Enchantments for Oct 30, 2008

We have been exploring the concept of life patterns and the notion of paradox, yin and yang.  I attended a wonderful Diwali celebration last night and there were lights and candles, beautiful bright sparkly colours, exotic aromas and wonderful people.  My daughter and I got mehendi henna designs on our hands and I was adorned with traditional Diwali makeup including a vibrant blue and pink eyeshadow and a bindi  spot on my third eye.

 

It is a powerful time of the year with Diwali, Halloween, Dia de los Muertos, and All Saints Day.  It seems to me, that what these celebrations highlight is the juxtaposition of light and dark, life and death.

 

We do not talk about death easily, yet it is so much a part of our experience of life.  Our community recently lost a vibrant young man in a tragic car accident.  We drive by the accident site almost daily and we and our daughters know the family.  The sharp point of the pain is really sharp at the moment for our community and while there is a memorial at the accident site and there will be a service, it seems “too small”.  It seems like we should be gathering closer and talking more and doing more for the family.  It feels like the whole community should be wailing and keening and sobbing, yet life goes on.

 

It is a very powerful practice to consider both life and death; light and dark.  Your enchantments for this week deeply honour this notion and in the spirit of shared intention, I offer the following “enchantments”.

 

Self Care Enchantments for the week:

 

1.  Remember and honour those who have already passed on.  If you choose to, learn about the Dia de los Muertos (day of the dead) Festival as celebrated in Mexico and adopt one of the rituals.

 

2.  In your personal life, what patterns are asking to be let go of or are ready to “die”?

 

3.  Dressing up in costume can be incredibly fun and liberating even if it is simply wearing a wild scarf or bindi spot, so, go for it, dress up in a costume and balance the dark with the light, bright and sparkly.

 

“The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched” – Henry David Thoreau

 

We would love to hear about your experience with these enchantments.  Please share about your learning and exploration with these enchantments in the comments section!

 

namaste,

 

Zoey

 

Zoey Ryan

coach . catalyst . shakti sage

life & business coach for women

“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business”

www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com

www.entrepreneurialsuperstars.com


604-323-3700

Support fair trade, earth friendly gift giving at Hippy Grandma: hippy love for generations – earth friendly treasures for your grandbabies, their mamas and you!

www.hippygrandma.com

Women's Life- Self Care Enchantments for Oct 23, 2008

I think that in North America, we have been taught to believe in the dream, you know the one about “life being happy, easy and if you just work hard enough, you can have everything you want”?  I haven’t lived in the East, however I have travelled to underdeveloped areas and from what I understand, in less developed areas, where people still live “closer to the land”, a deep understanding about the ups and downs of life is present in the cultural psyche.

 

Both my parents grew up on farms and during summer holidays I often spent time with my cousins and the farm animals.  I saw “farm life” in clear definition and remember in particular seeing how our food that is milk, beef and chicken got from the natural state to the plate.  On a farm, things are messy, smelly and real.  It is accepted that there is joy and suffering, good smells and bad smells, planting and harvesting.

 

We have been talking about a deeper exploration of one’s habitual patterns and default programs and playing out the concept of paradox.  As a continuation of this, how influenced do you feel you are or have been by your dominant socio cultural belief systems?  What do you believe about life?  Should you always be happy and life be easy?  What if all of us “made room” for or “created space” for,  the notion that pain and suffering are the natural counterpoints to joy and happiness.  When I start to explore this with coaching clients, what they often express is that welcoming pain and suffering creates a sense of melting and relaxation.  In fact, although it seems counterintuitive, they often say “ahhhh, I don’t have to try so hard to be happy.”

 

Your enchantments for this week continue in this theme and include some further questions and a fun art exercise.

 

Self Care Enchantments for the week:

 

1.  What is the “dream” that you are trying to live up to?  If you find this difficult to answer, try to gain a different perspective, perhaps imagine that you are a visitor from another culture and then ask the question again from an observer point of view.

 

2.  How much energy do you devote to “being happy” and living the dream.  How can you create more “spaciousness” in your life?

 

3.  Create an art doll that represents your “harvest” this fall.  Did you ever do this when you were a kid?  Maybe make a doll out of a pine cone or grass or old fabric?  You can add in glitter or crystals or other items to represent your life and its ups and downs this year.

 

“The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched” – Henry David Thoreau

 

We would love to hear about your experience with these enchantments.  Please share about your learning and exploration with these enchantments in the comments section!

 

namaste,

 

Zoey

 

Zoey Ryan

coach . catalyst . shakti sage

life & business coach for women

“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business”

www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com

www.entrepreneurialsuperstars.com


Support fair trade, earth friendly gift giving at Hippy Grandma: hippy love for generations – earth friendly treasures for your grandbabies, their mamas and you!

www.hippygrandma.com

604-323-3700

 

Women Entrepreneurs: To Re-brand or Not?

I have outgrown the phraseology “positively outrageous women”!  Since I have used this phrase as my website url for about five years, it may also have gotten stale.  The dilemma is that POW is a “brand” in our small local community and among my contacts.

My gut and heart say one thing and my head says another.

I find this process so interesting as I can not disconnect my business evolution from my chronological age.  In my 40’s I did feel outrageous in a positive way.  Now, in my 50’s, my entrepreneurial energy feels softer and gentler, yet has a strong and clear core.

I would love your thoughts and feedback on this issue.  Have you had a similar experience in your business?  What did you learn?  What do you think about my dilemma?

namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan, PCC

life & buisness coach for women

“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart and soul of your busness”

Women's Life: Two Remarkable Women – Gloria Steinem and Severn Cullis-Suzuki

I connected with two remarkable women yesterday.  No, I can not make the claim to a personal relationship, yet I feel I know them well, through their actions and their words.
Gloria Steinem: Gloria appeared on Oprah yesterday and I was reminded of how she influenced my early twenties, when I subscribed to Ms. and engaged in lively discussions (sometimes debates) about women’s rights with my mostly male friends.  I was idealistic, hopeful and absolutely convinced that women would change the world.  I remain absolutely convinced that women will change the world, yet am puzzled by the timeline.  Seeing Gloria and listening to her words, reconnected me with my passion, committment and intention to participate with so many other women around the planet who are acting for social change.
Severn Cullis-Suzuki: I loved reading the article about Severn in our local paper this morning.  Living in Metro Vancouver, it feels like I watched Severn grow up and I like to think that I may have seen her in person many times over the years at Capers or Granville Island or the Folk Festival.  Severn jumped onto the world stage in 1992 when she and a group of Vancouver kids traveled to Brazil to attend the UN Earth Summit and she presented her plea to the delegates for them to “save the world”.  The video of this speech is still being widely circulated via “youtube”. Now grown and recently married, she is staying true to her roots through developing “roots” and community in Haida Gwaii.

In my opinion, these two women represent courage; integrity and transparency and stand as gently powerful and remarkable role models for women.

namaste,

Zoey

life & business coach for women

“coaching for your heart & soul”

www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com

www.entrepreneurialsuperstars.com

Women's Life: What is your relationship with food?

Question of the week: what is your relationship to food?  Do you think of food as nourishing, do you have a love/hate relationship, does eating scare you, do you love food?

I grew up in a household where my mom (of German descent and who grew up in the Depression) loved to cook.  Not only did she love to cook but I figured out after she passed away, that one of the ways she showed us all love was with food.  We had alot of family feasts, usually Sunday at noon and for all the major religious holidays.  The rest of the time, I recall the food was basic and simple.  We seldom ate in restaurants or had “store bought” food.  While I would give anything now for mom’s homemade chocolate chip cookies, at the time, I felt embarassed to bring home made food to school for snacks.

I would say that I have had a conflicted relationship with food until my late twenties.  AT this time, instead of focusing my eating on how not to gain weight, I switched to making friends with my body and eating for health and nourishment.  It felt like a whole new world opened up!

I still “feast” for special occasions and sometimes feels like it would be easy to get pulled back into the love/hate thing with food, however most of the time my eating relationship feels balanced and nourishing.

namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan

coach . catalyst . shakti sage

life & business coach for women

“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business”

www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com

Please feel free to share your comments!

Women's Life- Self Care Enchantments for Oct 16, 2008

I spent about five hours straight at the computer last week, trying to book a vacation to a hot, sunny, beautiful place.  I spent so much time sitting in front of the screen that my body was aching, my right wrist on the verge of carpal tunnel syndrome!  I visited all the discount travel sites and cross checked all inclusives, cruises, flights and hotels.  I searched “Vacations Rental By Owner” and all the major holiday sites.  I searched everything within an 8 hour flight time of Vancouver.  I would get up for a few minutes to do something else but found I couldn’t concentrate and back to the computer I went to search yet again for a wonderful vacation.

 

Now, here is the insane part, we already have a vacation booked!

 

This is what I do when “real everyday life” feels too hard, I plan vacations.  My husband does it too.  We each do it separately and we do it together, we love planning vacations.  Some we go on and some we just talk about.  This is one of our habitual ways of escaping reality.

 

I used to drink to escape reality.  I finally figured out that the booze really wasn’t my best friend and I stopped!

 

The day of the marathon computer search, I intellectually understood what I was doing; I knew that I felt restless, my thinking was scattered and I couldn’t settle down.  I knew that if I did just stop, I would likely burst into tears with the frustration of unanswered questions about our health.  I knew all this in my head, yet I couldn’t get my body to relax into it, I couldn’t self sooth.  Until; I remembered some of my learning about breathing into the pain.

 

So, I sat breathing in frustration, fear, pain, sadness, restlessness and breathing out expansiveness, spaciousness, joy, calm peacefulness.  Each breath was separate and special.  I couldn’t help it, a giggle escaped and I laughed and laughed at myself, at my insanity, at my usual way of escaping, at my goofiness and I realized, hey, this is unconditional friendship with myself.  I sat longer, continuing to breathe and I made friends with the present moment.  I welcomed the pain and sadness and insanity and sank into the beauty of the day.

 

We started this questioning last week, that is, a deeper exploration of one’s habitual patterns and default programs and your enchantments for this week continue in this theme.

 

Self Care Enchantments for the week:

 

1.  Answer the following question honestly and openly to yourself: what methods do I use to “escape” reality?

 

2.  Play around with the notion of “unconditional love”, for yourself, your kids, your family.  If you are really up for a challenge, try it out on someone you are angry with!

 

3.  In some traditions, a soul year ends the day before the first day of Advent.  If you chose to, consider your past “soul year”, what is ending, what is completing, what is asking to be celebrated?

 

“The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched” – Henry David Thoreau

 

Please share about your learning and exploration with these enchantments in the comments section of these enchantments!

 

namaste,

 

Zoey

 

Zoey Ryan

coach . catalyst . shakti sage

life & business coach for women

“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business”

www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com

www.entrepreneurialsuperstars.com

604-323-3700

 

Inrageous/Outrageous Self-Care Enchantments for Oct 9, 2008

Inrageous/Outrageous Self-Care Enchantments for This Week

It has been an interesting week, with some virtual “push back” about the self care/self improvement discussion.  Self care and self-improvement, are these two sides of the same coin?  Is there a difference?  How are these concepts different?

If one moves beyond an opinion into the less clear field of paradox, the following thoughts by Pema Chodron (from “Start Where You Are”) serve to broaden this discussion.  In coaching, we look at life patterns and as you read the following paragraph, ask yourself which is your habitual life pattern, self-care or self-improvement?

“As long as you’re wanting to be thinner, smarter, more enlightened, less uptight, or whatever it might be, somehow you’re always going to be approaching your problem with the very same logic that created it to begin with: you’re not good enough.  That’s why the habitual pattern never unwinds itself when you’re trying to improve, because you go about it in exactly the same habitual style that caused all the pain to start.”

It feels like the pattern of improvement described above is similar to the “grass is always greener pattern” or, what I call the “I will fully start living my life when…” dynamic.  Some examples of this are: once the kids start school I will get my life back; when I make more money I will be happier; when we finally retire, then I can relax; when I am at my ideal weight life will be better and so forth.

While both self-improvement and planning for the future can be beneficial and helpful, it is when a “habitual pattern” evolves and becomes our default pattern, that these processes can actually “bite us in the bum”.  If our thinking continually goes to the future or the past it prevents us from fully living our lives in the present moment.

Starting to question one’s habitual patterns and default programs can take your self-care practice to a much deeper level.

Self Care Enchantments for the week:

1.  Answer the following questions honestly and openly to yourself:
– How do I usually deal with stress and anxiety, what are my habitual default patterns?
-  In what ways do I feel that I am “not enough” and then who would I be without this/these thought(s)?

2.  Practice radical self-acceptance all week.

3.  As the darkness approaches earlier in the day, treat yourself to a candle lit aromatherapy bath.

“The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched” – Henry David Thoreau

Zoey Ryan
coach . catalyst . shakti sage
life & business coach for women
Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business

www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com

www.entrepreneurialsuperstars.com

Inrageous/Outrageous Self-Care Enchantments for Oct 2, 2008

We have been talking a lot about self-care, what it is, how it shows up and plays out in one’s life and also how life events remind us that “life itself” can be our spiritual practice.

I am feeling open, uncomfortable and vulnerable, kind of scared about “wearing my wounded heart on my sleeve” and yet curious, grateful and in awe of the opportunities and connections that are coming my way through our family’s health adventures!  From this place I share my thoughts on what self-care is not.

Self care is not self-improvement!

In coaching, my clients and I talk about self-care and the tendency is for many women to start making lists of how to improve. The lists often include: eat better, exercise more, start meditating, spend less, get organized, do more yoga, pray more, lose weight, spend more time with elderly parents and on it goes.

Self-improvement as a generalization, starts from the place of being “not good enough”, and “there’s room for improvement” and certainly, there is a time and place for self-improvement (like, say, when you have just had a heart attack and there are a whack of new lifestyle changes to make).  Yet, self – improvement is different than self-care.

Self-care is about starting from the place of “I am enough, I am good enough, I have enough, there is enough, I know enough, I do enough.”    Self-care is about affirming “my life is unfolding perfectly, in the right order, with the right events, in the right timing.”  Self-care is soft and gentle and respectful of your basic goodness.

For this week, your self care enchantments involve pondering self-care and self-improvement and deepening your “felt sense” or experience of the difference.

Self Care Enchantments for the week:

1.  Read the descriptions of self-improvement and self care again, then stop, go inside yourself and see if you feel the difference in these two important concepts.  Use the following questions to help:
– if you had to give the two concepts each a colour, what colours would you chose?
– when you say the phrases self-care and self-improvement where in your body to you feel each phrase?
– what does your heart say about each phrase?
– what does your head say about each phrase?
-hold each phrase in your hand (metaphorically), which one feels heavier?
2.  Write about the above exercise and your “learning”.
3.  Honour and enjoy the flavour of the season by including harvest vegetables in your meals and/or in your home decorating.

“The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched” – Henry David Thoreau

Zoey Ryan, PCC

coach . catalyst . shakti sage

life & business coach for women

Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business

www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com 

www.entrepreneurialsuperstars.com 

604-323-3700

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