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Archive for November, 2008

Inrageous/Outrageous Self-Care Enchantments for Nov 21, 2008

Inrageous/Outrageous Self-Care Enchantments for This Week

Building on the theme of “sacredness”, I have been having many conversations this past week with coaching clients, friends and family members, including our three teen age and early twenty year old daughters, on this topic.  When I ask about what “sacredness” means to them, many start by talking about the religious background of their family of origin, including the rituals, festival days, sense of community, music and decorations.  Our daughters give a much different response that is as varied as the three of them are; more on this in coming weeks.

I was brought up in a pretty strict Protestant family and I remember envying my Catholic girlfriends, especially around Christmas time as I thought it was pretty cool to have incense, Midnight Mass and twinkling candles burning at church.

I love how words actually convey a sense of their meaning and the word “sacred” does this.  To me, it conveys expansiveness, spaciousness, spirituality, depth of being, meaning.

So, your self care enchantments for this week are about exploring further your childhood imprinting about spirituality, sacredness, holidays and festivals.

Self Care Enchantments for the week:

1.  As you were growing up, what did you learn about religion and spirituality?  What were the dominant family beliefs in this area?

2.  How can you and/or how do you bring depth and meaning to your life?  Write about this in your journal.

3.  Take a “self-care retreat” day, plan for special time off for yourself, to contemplate both your sacredness and your “material self”.  Remember, self-care is different than self-improvement!

“The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched” – Henry David Thoreau

We would love to hear about your experience with these enchantments.  Please share about your learning and exploration with these enchantments on www.thepowblog.com in the comments section!

namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan
coach . catalyst . shakti sage
life & business coach for women
“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business”
www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com
www.entrepreneurialsuperstars.com
604-323-3700

Support fair trade gift giving at Hippy Grandma: hippy love for generations – an online eco-boutique selling earth friendly treasures for your grandbabies, their mamas and you! www.hippygrandma.com

Inrageous/Outrageous Self-Care Enchantments for Nov 13, 2008

Inrageous/Outrageous Self-Care Enchantments for This Week

What do you feel is “sacred” in your life?  I have slight keyboarding dyslexia so I often type the word “sacred” as “scared” and maybe this is actually a Freudian slip!  I talk with many women who have lost the “sense of the sacred”, equate sacredness with religion, who are scared of the power of their own spirituality and who mix spirituality up with religion.

In this season of build up to many sacred religious and secular holidays, it is a wonderful time to ponder and reflect on your spirituality.  First, here are some definitions from Wikipedia (www.wikipedia.org ):

Religion: A religion is a set of tenets and practices, often centered upon specific supernatural and moral claims about reality, the cosmos, and human nature, and often codified as prayer, ritual, or religious law. Religion also encompasses ancestral or cultural traditions, writings, history, and mythology, as well as personal faith and religious experience. The term “religion” refers to both the personal practices related to communal faith and to group rituals and communication stemming from shared conviction.

Spiritual: Spirituality, in a narrow sense, concerns itself with matters of the spirit, a concept closely tied to religious belief and faith, a transcendent reality, or one or more deities. Spiritual matters are thus those matters regarding humankind’s ultimate nature and purpose, not only as material biological organisms, but as beings with a unique relationship to that which is perceived to be beyond both time and the material world. Spirituality also implies the mind-body dichotomy, which indicates a separation between the body and soul.

As such, the spiritual is traditionally contrasted with the material, the temporal and the worldly. A perceived sense of connection forms a central defining characteristic of spirituality — connection to a metaphysical reality greater than oneself, which may include an emotional experience of religious awe and reverence, or such states as satori or nirvana. Equally importantly, spirituality relates to matters of sanity and of psychological health. Spirituality is the personal, subjective dimension of religion, particularly that which pertains to liberation or salvation.

So, while spirituality may be connected to religion for some, it can also be the subjective sense of “a power greater than oneself, a sense of expansiveness, connection and awe” that is experienced outside the realm of organized religion.

Your self-care enchantments for the next few weeks will be encompassing the themes and spirituality and sacredness.

Self Care Enchantments for the week:

1.  Read through the above definitions again and design your personal definition of spirituality.

2.  Ponder in which conditions or circumstances to you feel a “sense of sacredness”?

3.  Determine what will make this season especially special or sacred for you.

“The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched” – Henry David Thoreau

We would love to hear about your experience with these enchantments.  Please share about your learning and exploration with these enchantments on www.thepowblog.com in the comments section!

namaste,

Zoey
Zoey Ryan
coach . catalyst . shakti sage
life & business coach for women
“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business”
www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com
www.entrepreneurialsuperstars.com
604-323-3700

Support fair trade gift giving at Hippy Grandma: hippy love for generations – an online eco-boutique selling earth friendly treasures for your grandbabies, their mamas and you! www.hippygrandma.com

Women's Life: Deepening Conversations! Do you think an addiction is a choice or a disease?

The other day I responded to an article in our local paper, The Vancouver Sun, entitled “Whatever happened to embarrassment?:Here’s to bringing back a little good, old-fashioned shame?” by Shelley Fralic.  I think there were likely some very valid points made in the article but I didn’t get further than the following question, asked by Ms. Fralic in response to observing a group of 12 steppers discussing their adventures in rehab while sipping beverages at a Starbucks “Why are these people not embarassed about being addicts?  Ill-mannered addicts, to boot.”

Now, I am not objective in this area as I am an “addict” myself, a happily recovering “alcoholic”, however, I was surprised by Ms. Fralic’s opinions as outlined in our very interesting subsequent email converstation which I share with you below, (with Ms. Fralic’s permission btw).  In further contemplation, I believe that had it been a group of drunk partiers talking about their substance use, I may have had a different reaction to the question.  I kind of feel that folks attempting to work through an addiction by attending any type of program deserve respect, compassion and kudos rather than  being shamed.  What do you think?  Please feel free to deepen this conversation with your comments below.

—–Original Message—–
From: Zoey Ryan [mailto:zoey@telus.net]
Sent: Tue 11/4/2008 9:41 AM
To: Fralic, Shelley (Vancouver Sun)
Subject: I’m not embarrassed nor ashamed to be an addict!

Dear Shelley,

I found your article to be interesting and yet, I wonder if you aren’t
displaying a very misinformed and out dated view of “addictions” with your
question, “why are these people not embarrassed about being addicts”?

I am an addict, a recovering one and I am not ashamed or embarrassed; I have
the disease of alcoholism.  Would you ask this same question of a group of
people sitting around talking about their experience of being at “diabetes
camp”, are they not embarrassed about having diabetes?  I am also a mom,
married, working, healthy, happy and very open about my addiction to
alcohol!  I am open about it mainly to help break apart the pervasive
socio-cultural stigma, the stigma that having an addiction is “shameful”!

Now, I too have been quietly sitting in Starbucks, sipping my latte and
feeling somewhat annoyed with the loud conversation at the next table,
however, it is usually the decibel level I find annoying, rather than the
content.

Did you consider that the “shameful” conversation of the 12 steppers, as
raw and rough as it was, may in fact act as a
catalyst for even one other person in Starbucks to attend an AA meeting and
start on the journey of recovery?

Have you ever attended a 12 step meeting yourself, I wonder?

Actually, Shelley, it is shame on you!

Respectfully,

Zoey Ryan

Ms. Ryan:
Thanks for your note.
I am well aquainted, as are most people these days, with addiction in all
its forms.
Good for you for dealing with your problem. But alcoholism and drug
addiction are, in my opinion, too readily called diseases when they are, in
reality, the sad consequences of conscious choice.
Someone who chooses to smoke crack, or drink too much vodka, is hardly on
equitable footing with a child facing leukemia or a woman with incurable
breast cancer.
A person chooses to be an addict and, hard as it is, that addiction can be
cured simply by stopping. Not so that child, or that woman. That’s the
difference for me.
As for the shame, there was a time when people who acted out, criminally or
immorally or by drinking too much, were stung by social embarrassment and,
while you don’t have to agree with me, I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing.
Again, thanks for your feedback and all the best in your recovery.

Shelley Fralic
Vancouver Sun Columnist
Office: 604-605-2170
Cell: 604-833-0846
sfralic@vancouversun.com

—–Original Message—–
From: Zoey Ryan [mailto:zoey@telus.net]
Sent: Tue 11/4/2008 12:04 PM
To: Fralic, Shelley (Vancouver Sun)
Subject: RE: I’m not embarrassed nor ashamed to be an addict!

Shelley,

Hmmm, that is a very interesting response, thank you for your well wishes
for my recovery, which is now 15 years underway.

I would say, that what is sadly missing in our society is not shame but
compassion!

Can you please advise me on how I can and can not use this correspondence?
May I post our email conversation on my blog?  It is a wonderful gateway
into a deeper and more meaningful discussion about addictions.

Respectfully,

Zoey

From: Fralic, Shelley (Vancouver Sun) [mailto:SFralic@vancouversun.com]
Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2008 11:10 AM
To: Zoey Ryan
Subject: RE: I’m not embarrassed nor ashamed to be an addict!

Zoey:
I always write emails with the notion that they might show up somewhere in cyberspace, so please feel free to post.
And please don’t misinterpret my previous response as an indication of lack of compassion for those struggling with addictions. I know how hard it is to beat alcoholism or drug addiction, but sometimes I think modern-day compassion is sorely misplaced, especially in the context of a social culture that too often encourages addicts to think their “disease” is not their fault, or that it’s out of their control, and that they are therefore excused for their actions.
We live in a time of making excuses, instead of making it right.
All the best.

Shelley Fralic
Vancouver Sun Columnist
Office: 604-605-2170
Cell: 604-833-0846
sfralic@vancouversun.com
I would love to hear your thoughts and opinion!  Is an addiction a choice or a disease?

namaste,

Zoey

www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com

Inrageous/Outrageous Self-Care Enchantments for Nov 6, 2008

Have you had experience with “the book angel”?  Do you know the one I mean?  Other people may call it synchronicity, “just at the right time” or a coincidence when the perfect verse, saying, article or book falls into one’s lap at just the perfect time with the perfect information for one’s current life situation or issue.  I call her “the book angel” and while I have been experiencing this phenomena for about 20 years, it never ceases to provide a profound sense of awe when it happens.

 

In a coaching conversation last week, my client mentioned something similar, she didn’t call it her “book angel”, however, the, process was the same.  Just at the right moment, necessary information, encouragement, inspiration would show up, provide direction and resonate deeply.

 

So, in this sacred build up time to all the festivals, holidays and celebrations of December, attune to your “book angel” and notice how support and “just in time” help and information may be available to you!  Of course, you may have different names or way of describing this and we would love to hear these stories too!

 

Self Care Enchantments for the week:

 

1.  Make note this week of the times that crazy coincidences or synchronistic events happen and write about this in your journal.  Stay open to the energy of this process and just for fun, give it a name.

 

2.  Continue the process of letting go of the old to make room for the new with the start of a new “soul year”, the first Sunday of Advent,

 

3.  Take some time to organize for the busyness of the season ahead.  It can be very helpful to stock up on non-perishable groceries, buy gifts early, decide to not buy gifts at all etc so that you can fully enjoy the sacredness of the season in all its glory.  This is a time when attention to one’s self-care and health is particularly important!

 

“The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched” – Henry David Thoreau

 

We would love to hear about your experience with these enchantments.  Please share about your learning and exploration with these enchantments on www.thepowblog.com in the comments section!

 

namaste,

 

Zoey

 

Zoey Ryan

coach . catalyst . shakti sage

life & business coach for women

“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business”

www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com

www.entrepreneurialsuperstars.com

604-323-3700

Support fair trade, eco-friendly gift giving at Hippy Grandma: hippy love for generations – earth friendly treasures for your grandbabies, their mamas and you! www.hippygrandma.com

Women Entrepreneurs: An Economic "Re-Balancing" is the Perfect Time to Re-light the Fire of Burning Desire!

Did you know that many businesses do extremely well during a time of

“an “economic re-balancing”?  Why do you think this is? 

 

Business & life coaches love discussions about economic downturns as it opens up the conversation to deeply investigate personal attitudes, expectations and beliefs.  With this type of an exploration, we start to “re-light the fire of burning desire” and ignite those powerful and dynamic internal forces that are the signature characteristics of extraordinary entrepreneurs who truly run sustainable superstar businesses.  This doesn’t mean that it is a comfortable or easy process, in fact, it is often quite the reverse, it can be scary, uncomfortable and edgy.  In retrospect though, women entrepreneurs often look back and also say that it was exhilarating!

 

Entrepreneurs who are competitive and like challenges often respond to an economic downturn by making a “game of it”, saying things like “I am not going to let this get to me”, “I’m going to prove this thing wrong” etc.  Their attitude and pattern of responding to a challenge often kick starts them into massive action, which generates huge business momentum.  Pam talks about this in her article, in www.thesuperstarblog.com ,how during a recession, businesses clean house and often actually re-invent themselves, resulting in a revitalized business.

 

Just knowing that many businesses flourish in times of a re-balancing, expands expectations of what is possible in business.  Rather than expect that there will be negative results, ask yourself how you and your business can leverage this natural part of an economic cycle.  You may find that by asking questions about how you can make this work for you, creative and innovative ideas pop in.  Yes, it is a cliché, however, remember that “what goes down, must come up.”  How can you position your self and your business to tap into the upswing?

 

A really powerful shift can happen for many women entrepreneurs when they allow themselves to use an economic downturn as a “gateway” or catalyst to explore their dominant belief patterns.  I highly expect that as a business woman, faced with the possibility of a “recession” your personal “limiting beliefs” will be very easy to access.  I experience this myself.  As well, any “dominant cultural limiting beliefs” will be accessible and you may feel the strong pull towards a downward spiral of negativity.  You can halt this downward spiral and use this is an amazing opportunity to work on changing your beliefs and your internal self-talk. 

 

Warren Buffett apparently loves economic down turns and I love Warren Buffett.  I love Warren Buffett because from what I read about him, he is an amazing and brilliant person who in spite of being incredibly wealthy, continues to drive an old model vehicle, live in his “normal house” and it sounds like, has instilled solid values in his children.  I love Warren Buffett because he seems to value the amazing people who manage under capitalized businesses.  I love Warren Buffett because he understands that it is the power of the people in an organization that makes the organization strong and dynamic.  My guess is that Warren Buffett has a pretty clear set of wonderful “enabling and prospering beliefs”.

 

An economic downturn is the best time to change your “limiting beliefs” to “enabling and prospering beliefs”.  I never underestimate the power of the human spirit, when pushed to the edge with a recession to create, innovate, inspire, collaborate, re-design, re-vitalize, experiment and in fact “leap frog” into something new and amazing.  I love the following quote, although I can’t remember where I first heard it…“Whether you believe you can, or whether you believe you can’t, you are right!”  Changing belief systems is an intense exploration and often requires the support of a skilled life & business coach or other professional as it is very easy to get stuck in the process.

 

Yes, these are platitudes and yes, these are true, however, remember… the power of positive belief and expectation, you can do it if you believe you can and never, ever, ever give up!  You have the power within you to shift your beliefs, make this economic situation work for you and we believe in you too!

 

 

namaste,

 

Zoey

 

Zoey Ryan

coach . catalyst . shakti sage

life & business coach for women

"Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business"

www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com

www.entrepreneurialsuperstars.com

604-323-3700

Support fair trade, eco-friendly gift giving at Hippy Grandma: hippy love for generations - earth friendly treasures for your grandbabies, their mamas and you! www.hippygrandma.com

 

 

 

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