Posts Tagged ‘life coach’

I have learned that there is a big difference between learning about coaching and leadership; skills, competencies, theories etc and ‘hitting the ground running‘ as a leader of a group, team or organization.

Prior to doing my coach and leadership training, I had held a significant number of  leadership positions, however, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I was formally hired in a management role.  As I imagine many women leaders find, my first few months were a ‘trial by fire’.  In the past three years I have been challenged to use every leadership & coaching skill I have learned and that’s not due to a crisis or emergency; its due to the reality of working  in an intense environment with limited resources and with people who are diverse, creative and amazing… and don’t always agree!

As a result of my life and work experience and my coaching and leadership training, I have designed the Topaz Lotus Leadership Matrix to meet the needs of Women Leaders. Many women leaders have told me that they feel they want to be a better leader, and while they feel competent, they want to broader and deepen their leadership skills.  With the Matrix, I talk about both the ‘being’ and ‘doing’ of leadership for women and over the next few weeks, I will be discussing this further.

The foundation of the ‘doing’ part of leadership in the Topaz Lotus Leadership Matrix is the Legacy Leadership(R) Model, developed by Drs Lee Smith and Jeannine Sandstrom, organizational development specialists.  I have found that this model truly leads to transformational leadership as it encompasses 5 outstanding Best Practices and comes complete with leadership competencies and behaviours!

When I found myself in the midst of my first chaotic crazy challenge at my new work, I came back to the 5 best practices as outlined in Legacy Leadership and found clarity and a solution!

The first ‘best practice’ of the Legacy Leadership model is:

~ ‘Holder of Vision and Values’ its about direction and commitment ~

I have experienced this  leadership ‘best practice’ as vital!  Knowing and holding a collective vision with a work group or organization, anchored by clear, strong and shared values provides a decision making strategy, a road map and a catalyst for forward movement and change.

Stay tuned for more leadership strategies and skills using the Topaz Lotus Leadership Matrix for Women Leaders and feel free to send me your leadership challenges!

in peace & mindfulness

namaste,

Zoey

executive & leadership coaching to set your heart on fire and soothe your soul

 

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all
Even if they are a cloud of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each guest has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

~~~

This is one of my favorite poems! I have found that the more I welcome every visitor, the lighter and airier my ‘house’ becomes, there is a freshness and newness with each day and it is easier to greet each visitor with laughter!  This is not to say that it has been easy!  I have found it really hard to ‘welcome’ emotional pain, or perceived wrong doings by someone close to me.  While ithasnotbeen easy, I have found a deepening sense of enrichment coming to my life.

Enjoy your day and as a guest to my blog, lets share a laugh together with this adorable child and camel! This picture I found on facebook, I don’t know who took it, however I would love to acknowledge the photographer.

in peace and mindfulness

namaste,

Zoey

coaching to set your heart on fire and soothe your soul

Stressed Again!?

 

Are you feeling stressed?  “Wonderful” your life coach says!

 

Are you surprised at this response?  In our culture we are advised to “get rid of stress”, “make stress go away”, take a stress management program and de-stress.  Many respond to this message but with actions that further the stress or distract them from what is really going on in their lives.  How many of your friends or family members, or perhaps even yourself de-stress with a glass of wine or two or three before dinner, through intense exercise, long hours at work or high adrenaline producing activities?

 

What if we shift perspective to welcoming stress as an opportunity to learn about ourselves, relationships, life patterns and balance in life?

 

When my client’s says that they are feeling stressed, I ask the following questions:

- is stress a daily part of your life or is it transitory?

- what does stress feel like in your body, where does it reside?

- what message is your stress giving you?

- how does stress serve you?

- how does stress not serve you?

- if you weren’t feeling stressed, how would your life be the same and different?

- being stressed allows you to do what….?

- what does your stress keep you from doing?

- how do you want your future to be in regards to stress?

 

Through the ensuing conversation clients often realize that feeling stressed is part of their life pattern and in fact in the past is has helped them accomplish projects and tasks.    Clients often find that they are ‘adrenalin junkies’ and find it tricky to get motivated with out stress and adrenalin.  By mid-life, they usually have found that this pattern isn’t working well for them anymore due to relationship problems or observable health effects of high blood pressure, poor sleep, digestive problems and headaches for example, but don’t know how to “do their life” differently.

 

I suggest that folks “make friends with their stress” and even give it a name. Rather than  try to make the stress go away I encourage my clients to welcome it into their lives and bodies as an opportunity for learning.  In doing this many folks find meaning and messages in their stress as well as find that there is a softening of the area of their body where they generally “hold” their stress.  I also encourage clients to engage in physical activities that are in alignment with ‘getting to know your body’, such as yoga or Tai Chi.  Often this process results in major life changes and in retrospect many say “thank you” to the original stress that was such a powerful  trigger or a catalyst for positive life change.

Enjoy your day!

in peace & mindfulness,

namaste,

Zoey

 

 

Continuing with the story about women and the heart….

Some background;  for the past 20 years or so, I have been delving into what used to be called ‘New Age Spirituality’, and now I simply call it ‘my spirituality’.  My spirituality feels like a personal and unique blend of Christianity and Buddhism, with hints of other major religions thrown in with a lot of meditation and yoga.  I’ve read many self help, personal development, integral theory, and new age spirituality books.  As a working mom and professional woman, I did a mid-life career shift (after a couple of decades working as a Nutritionist ) and took professional training into life & leadership coaching, using a body centered, whole systems orientation.

About three years ago, my husband informed me that two ‘suspicious spots’ had been seen on his lung.  Not long after, I attended a seminar about critical illness insurance for the self-employed business woman and decided I needed to take out this type of insurance as I had a family history of both cancer and heart disease.  We were in a state of hopeful/hopeless anticipation of the results of his lung biopsy.  To add to the health concern, my husband had also developed pulmonary emboli also known as lung clots, in both lungs.

As one may imagine, I was very worried about my husband, about our family, about how I would support three daughters as a professional woman if my husband died.  My mind utilizes ‘worst case scenarioizing’ very well!  At the time I was 51 years old.

I was also going through menopause and was taking a compounded progesterone for the symptoms.

We had just returned from a sailing trip where we had ‘weathered’ a significant storm of over 40 km per hour winds and where our engine had almost failed, resulting in a very scary couple of hours on the water with an accompanying surge of adrenalin.

To re-cap, between us; we had money worries due to reduced income, health worries, significant additional stress, menopause, three daughters to support and help with college, possible lung cancer, a really bad scare, pulmonary emboli and a recently purchased critical illness policy.  I also found out later that I had undiagnosed ‘essential hypertension’ or high blood pressure. I had ‘gained a few pounds’ over the past years although I regularly exercised, was a non smoker and drinker and ate in a healthy way!  I looked pretty healthy for my age.

I engaged in daily meditation and walks and was reading a lot of Buddhist teachings about ‘keeping the heart open’ and  without actually being trained in the practice, using a breathing practice called tonglen , where you breathe in the pain of the world and breathe out clear healing love.

What happened was that I was ‘broken hearted’!  My heart literally broke!

On a Monday morning after a ‘power walk’ and coffee, I experienced shortness of breath and felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest.  This heavy sensation wasn’t in any way painful, but it was uncomfortable.  I had a tiny bit of pain in my neck and right shoulder.  The ‘heavy’ sensation came and went about three times after which I googled ‘symptoms of a heart attack in women’.  I basically had all the symptoms and had my daughter drive me to the hospital half of me thinking that I was having a panic attack and in my mind, calling myself a ‘drama queen’ and the other half, the holistic health half saying ‘listen to your body and take this seriously’!  I’m very fortunate that I did listen to my inner wisdom and trust my body’s messages!

I was not having a panic attack, I had in fact had a ‘spontaneous coronary artery dissection (SCAD)’, where an flap of tissue from inside my heart artery tore off the wall of the heart and blocked the blood flow, resulting in a heart attack or MI.  I found out later that this type of heart attack is diagnosed in 70% of the cases upon autopsy and is not very common.  It happens more often in women and is associated with stress and changes in hormones and blood pressure. It has sometimes been called  ’Japanese Widows Syndrome’, as when a Japanese woman would suffer a heart attack  and die, just after her husband’s death!  In the hospital, my Cardiologist, Dr. Hamburger said that I had a ‘broken heart’, likely in some part caused by stress about my husband. If you google ‘SCAD’, you will find much more information

This may all sound very sad and upsetting and yes, it is and it was.  However, as a result of all of the above, our lives are better and we will live healthier and longer!  I can summarize the good results as:

- my ‘essential hypertension’ and ‘Syndrome X’ was diagnosed and I am now on appropriate medication.

- my husband was found to have a ‘clotting deficiency’ and likely would have died young from a heart attack but is now on the appropriate medication.

- as a result of thinking he had ‘lung cancer’ (he doesn’t) , my husband’s doctor reacted very quickly to my husband’s back pain (caused by the blood clots in his lung), which likely save his life.

- we both made further major healthy lifestyle changes.

- I received a significant critical illness claim which has helped tremendously with our daughters’ post secondary education!

- I have developed a very healthy respect for the power of spiritual practices and am daily reminded of what a beginner I am!

- I appreciate every day that I am alive and my family is well.

- I still chuckle that a former dietitian (moi)  would have a Cardiologist named Dr. Hamburger!

- I tell my story to help inform other women about heart disease, the symptoms of a heart attack in women and SACAD, so that any woman feeling ‘weird sensations’ (heaviness, difficulty catching your breath, tightness in chest, shortness of breath)  in her chest, will go immediately to the closest hospital emergency ward!  Please check with your local health authority for a complete list of heart attack symptoms in women.  In Canada, the Heart and Stroke Foundation is a great resource!

- I practice meditation and yoga and have a wonderful life!  I’m not quite sure what to make about the financial windfall part of this, however, I believe the ‘law of attraction’ was at play!

My life lessons from this experience?

- trust your inner wisdom

- listen to your body messages

- we are more connected than we think

- the mind body connection is powerful!

- trust that even though sad things happen, there is a bigger stronger more powerful loving force at work!

- the law of attraction is powerful!

- women are wise

- sometimes bad things turn out to be good things

- pay attention to life work balance

- have fun, be joyful, love!

Please share this information with other women and be aware that heart disease and stroke are big health issues for women and take good care of your heart and your health!

 

in peace & mindfulness,

namaste,

Zoey

 

I first met Jean or Juanita as she is known locally, about 8 years ago on our first trip to Yelapa! We had a connection as not only were we staying in the same ‘neighborhood/hillside’ in Yelapa, but Jean spends her summers in BC and is Canadian. We have travelled to Yelapa as a family and I have hosted ‘women’s retreats’ in the village with wonderfully positive feedback about the friendly locals, the amazing physical beauty and the broad range of activities.

Intrigued with her business and life choices, I’ve gotten to know Jean better over the years and I absolutely love her approach to teaching Spanish!

Here is what she says about YESI or the “Yelapa English Spanish Institute”:

‘The YESI school was destined, it was never a plan, I hadn’t planned to teach, although I did want to be a Russian / French/ English translator.’

Yelapa is a novel gem, it is like ‘stepping back in time’ into an authentic Mexican beach paradise.

Jean serves her students very well, giving personal attention both in training/coaching, house/home stay arrangements, tours and activities.There are classes for everyone; children, adults, teachers, medical people, families, bird watchers. All classes are largely oral using a book of collected materials.

Jean says “We’re trained to be visual, I try to reinforce the oral approach, as it “fixes” the language quicker and better. Classes are very interactive, lots of pictures, games, songs, role playing. I strive to make each experience of Yelapa and Spanish studies memorable. I try to tailor to the needs of the class, giving the short cuts to the structure of the language, but add variety and novelty to keep the students and myself inspired! I’ve set the location in a peaceful mountainside setting under bird-filled trees with an ocean view and breezes, close to the village and beaches. Summer classes really see a side of Yelapa seldom seen – verdant green, crystal warm ocean water, a Mexican community at play in their normal non-tourist lives. I have time to assist family groups in learning together and experiencing Yelapa at its best with activities daily. I serve many adults who want special attention for specific work interests.”

While staying in Yelapa and learning Spanish at YESI with Jean, you can also attend yoga classes with Judith at the Sky Temple, soak up the sun on the beach, swim, snorkel, travel up river to the waterfall, eat luscious food at the amazing restaurants and dance at the local disco!

Situated on the ocean, south of Puerto Vallarta and only accessible by water taxi, Yelapa is a safe, quaint Mexican village untainted by big development or obnoxious tourists. Yelapa attracts a very laid back visitor who enjoys an authentic experience. There are many choices for accommodations and in my opinion, some of the best food anywhere in the world. Describing the food and restaurants would require another entire blog posting, however, I will highlight our favs: Cafe Bahia for brunch or lunch, El Manguito, El Cerrito, the Yacht Club and Angelina’s Garden Restaurant! The ceviche at Hotel Lagunita is excellent too!

Having lived in Yelapa for many years, Jean is a wonderful resource for planning your trip as well as providing you with an exceptional opportunity to learn Spanish.

Hotel Lagunita in Yelapa

Consider planning a special retreat to Yelapa and enjoy an adventure in learning Spanish with Juanita!

In peace & mindfulness,

namaste,

Zoey

Wishing you all a fabulous Friday and weekend!

Heres a wonderful thought for the day / weekend from ‘Daily Inspiring Quotes’

‘To be kind is more important than to be right. Many times what people need is not a brilliant mind that speaks but a special heart that listens.”

Namaste

Zoey

coaching for your heart & soul

Living a Life With Heart: Values and Needs

During the next few weeks, the theme for posting will be ‘the heart’ in honour of Valentines Day and the spirit of love!

From my perspective as a life, leadership & executive coach, living a life with heart includes living a life anchored in clear and deeply held values and understanding how unmet needs might get in the way of this.

I want to share my process in this area of values and needs.  Prior to completing my coach training, I had a vague idea of all of this stuff.  I figured I was pretty clear on my values, sort of knew the meaning and difference between a value and a need and I have to say was pretty darn smug.  Through my coach training, which included a lot of introspection and journaling, what I learned about myself was actually shocking to me.  I learned that for basically my entire life, I had been operating my life from a place of unmet needs rather than from a place of clearly known and held values.  I had thought I was so clear on who I was and where I was going, that learning new information about myself was unsettling.  Now, from the perspective of time, I see that this was very important “unsettling”, it was like stirring up the bottom of a clear mountain lake and dislodging bits of garbage that had been caught on sunken tree branches.  Self-reflection and introspection, allowed the garbage to float to the surface to be skimmed off and thrown away.  Developing clarity around my crystal and rubber values and about my needs has allowed me to take control of my life and create my future to be in alignment with my deeply held crystal values.

So, to further set context and share  common language, I offer the following definitions and in doing this I have drawn from these resources: Webster’s dictionary, “The Portable Coach” by Thomas Leonard, “Co-Active Coaching” by Whitworth, Kimsey and House and the “Professional Foundations for Masterful Coaches” program by Jeanine Sandstrom and Lee Smith.

A Value: something intrinsically valuable or desirable, human rather than material.  Values are the essence of who you are.  Values are principles that you hold to be of worth in your life and are the activities, preferences or behaviours that you are naturally drawn to and that attract you.  Values are those things considered right, worthwhile and desirable-the basis for guiding principles and standards.  Values fulfill you.

A Need: implies a lack of something requisite, desirable or useful.  Needs are resources, people, feelings, situations, or environments you must have in order to be your best.  Meeting needs gives a sense of satisfaction and there is often a sense of urgency around needs.

Now, a couple more definitions in the area of values and I want to thank Betty Healey, a fellow coach with the Strategic Attraction Community for sharing this.

A crystal value: is a value that is so important to you that if it is not incorporated into your life, causes your life to shatter.  Think of what happens if you drop a crystal ball.  Taking the crystal ball imagery further, a crystal value calls you forward into your future.

A rubber value: is a value that is important but that can bounce away, out of your life and then back again, like a rubber ball with out you feeling dissonance.

What do you think your values and needs are?  If you would like some help with this, let me know!  That’s what a coach is for.

In peace & mindfulness,

namaste,

Zoey

coaching for your heart & soul

inspirational catalyst for personal development and leadership skills & development

“Create Your Life with Heart”

I want to share a story with you that is a real life example of the process used to create your life with heart.

I have spent the past 15 or so years learning about metaphysical principles and spirituality and how these principles can be used for personal transformation and I find the whole area fascinating.  It was in the late 1990’s that I decided to deepen my learning, use the principles in my work and becoming a coach seemed to be the perfect fit.  At the time I was still working in health care but made the commitment to do a mid-life career shift and become a professional life & business coach.  I felt “called” to become a coach, it was a “burning desire” within my heart and what I felt I was meant to do.

I desperately wanted to sign up for coach training, yet we were at a place in our family finances where there wasn’t a lot of extra disposable income.  We had three kids with braces and on-going orthodontic work, say no more!  I decided to put the prosperity principles that I had been learning about into practice.

I made the commitment to become a coach, put a small deposit on my first training workshop, tuned myself up into a place of knowing and believing that the rest of the money would show up, brought in feelings of fulfillment and joy imagining myself working as a coach and let go of any attachment to timing and an outcome.  Guess what happened?  Not more than two days later, I received a cheque from Revenue Canada for child tax credits from my tax return from two years previous that I had no idea I was owed and even more astounding, the cheque was within $5 of the amount needed for my first coach training workshop!  That was the proof I needed to trust these principles fully and went on to complete my coach training and certification.

This story is a powerful example of the law of attraction at work!

You are the artist, storyteller and author of your own life and you can write and create whatever script you desire!

In peace & mindfulness,

namaste,

Zoey

Gong Hey Fat Choy
LOVE
HEALTH
JOY
LUCK
WEALTH
WISDOM
HAPPINESS
PROSPERITY

From the ‘Peace Compassion Love’ Facebook Group

This Lunar New Year is the year of the dragon, also known as the water dragon.  The water elements cools the firery dragon and it is a time for family and community!

Vancouver’s Chinese New Year Parade is on Sunday, January 29th.

namaste,

Zoey

What a wonderful time to think about fresh new beginnings and honour our creative energy as women!

Enjoy this quote:

“The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanely sensitive. To them… a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create — so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, their very breath is cut off… They must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency they are not really alive unless they are creating.” - Pearl Buck

Enjoy your week and feel that spark of creativity!

In peace & mindfulness,

namaste,

Zoey