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Posts Tagged ‘life coaching for women’

3 Self Care Tips to Enhance Your Life

Happy and free

Do you ever find your self wondering exactly what does ‘self care’ mean? In my life coaching practice,  when discussing self care, I have many women ask me, “but isn’t it selfish to put myself first”? I like to ‘unpack’ and ‘repack’ the meaning of ‘self care’ together with my clients. My thinking about self care has been informed by the writing of Pema Chodron, Buddhist Nun and teacher.
In previous posts, I have included the phrases ‘motherly love’ and ‘compassion towards yourself’ as capturing the essence of self-care! Another word that fits into this discussion is “maitri”. Maitri is a Sanskrit word often translated as unconditional friendship with oneself. As mentioned, I first heard the word ‘maitri’ in the writings of Pema Chodron.

 

What strikes me is that as we can develop ‘unconditional friendship’ with ourselves, we bring compassion and a gentleness into our ‘self-care’ practice. Starting from gentleness and respect allows life to flow forth in quite a different way than striving towards the completion of projects. This is the practice of self compassion and anchors our lives in quite a different way. You can learn more about self compassion through the Center for Compassion Inspired Health.

 

So, explore the practice of unconditional friendship and self compassion with yourself and from a soft and gentle place, experiment with the following :

 

Self Care Tips:

1. Explore the concept of friendship, and consider if you hold yourself to a higher and different standard than you hold your friends ie are you more critical of yourself than you are of your friends?

2. Be extra gentle with yourself and notice when this is easy or difficult.

3. Mark the changing of the seasons in some way. You may wish to buy a new journal or prepare your garden or design another ritual that helps you say good bye to the season ending and ‘hello’ to the season on it’s way in or, if you are in an equinox, notice the uniqueness of the season.

 

“May your life be like a wildflower, growing freely in beauty and joy each day.”

 

– Native American Proverb

Taking A Look At My Own Stuff: Reactivity

Reactivity

Following from my previous post about my knees hitting the floor, I’m still recovering from my fall and have admitted to myself that yes, in fact, my wrist is still wonky, so off I go to the Drs this pm. Not only that but my whole right side is still very sore in spite of epsom salts baths and ‘taking it easy’. Taking a metaphoric look at the meaning of injuring my right side is the topic for a whole other series of posts!

Perhaps I was a touch reactive when yet again, this time by my husband and in the presence of my 93 year old father who in fact does have a walker, my ‘needing a walker’ was brought up in jest.

Pema Chodron writes about her start as the ‘head person’ at the Buddhist Monastery in Nova Scotia, where she came face to face with her own stuff. I still enjoy reading her description of doing the dishes and being angry at the person who never did their share and re-read this portion frequently.

Down there on the pavement, I was face to face with ‘my stuff’; my flash temper,  my reactivity, hypocrisy, attachments, cravings, judgements. If taking a tumble wasn’t enough, I have my family to help   keep me humble.

Yes, our real spiritual work is allowing ourselves to accept our darkness, our reactivity, our ‘warts’, our areas of dissonance, not only accept but make friends with, and have compassion for. Ah, and in this, there is peace!

in love and peace,

zoey

When Your Knees Hit The Floor: For Real

I posted the following quote on FB the other day, never thinking I would literally go through it.

Yup, it happened.

“Something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart: 

a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor.”

~ Marianne Williamson

So, I’m out for my walk yesterday, still processing all the recent health diagnosis that are too frightfully boring and ‘chronic’  and ‘rare” and ‘serious’ feeling to go in to and walking daily is what I love but also part of my ‘healthy living plan” (Oh God, Ive become one of those older people) and thinking about which car was in the driveway while looking ahead at said driveway and not on the ground and I turned an ankle on a stone perfectly round like a squash ball and down I went, on my knees and arm and wrist and shoulder and holy  F*%K, it hurt like the be jeesus. Luckily I carry my iPhone with me, so I can measure my peak heart rate so I called middle daughter to help and of course she did (daughter number one got in a comment about a walker before I told her where to put her that nonsense) and one of them had a comment about me not wearing my glasses.

This quote now makes so much more sense, Marianne was out for a walk without her glasses and tripped and fell!

All joking aside, it is true; as I lay there in considerable physical and emotional pain, of being ill, of getting older, of being in a failing marriage, of being one of those people I said I would never become (how did I think I could avoid health issues?), something in me let go, released, shook free and I don’t know that I feel noble, however, my knees certainly hit the floor, in this case pavement, I do feel humble and like my world has fallen apart and I guess I can see a glimmer of beauty and a little bubble of a giggle as I listen to my daughter with the dry sardonic wit describe the event to her sisters (‘yeh, I had to help her up, she was a mess, she was wailing like a newborn baby’, which we will have soon in the family) and in all of this perhaps the beauty is that of authentic raw vulnerability. I’m just like everybody else, I feel, I hurt, I need help and in that I feel compassion, I feel universal pain, I feel universal hurt, I feel universal compassion. We are all the same and there’s the beauty.

namaste

 

 

Daily Cup of Life Coaching & Inspiration: Where Is Your ‘Just Enough’ Place?

Daily Cup of Coaching & Inspiration: Where Is Your ‘Just Enough’ Place? 

The concept of ‘just enough’ can be applied to every area of one’s life.  I tend towards being excessive, which, in the past,  has gotten me into trouble with my drinking, food intake, relationships, spending for example.

Practicing YogaI also have done the yo yo of ‘dieting’, ‘budgets’, abstinence, again all the ‘excess of deprivation’.

The concept I have become calm and settled with is the concept of ‘just enough’. Just enough food for me to feel satiated but not stuffed; just enough activity for me to feel energized but not fatigued; just enough sleep for me to feel rested but not groggy and it can go on.

Where does my pattern of ‘excess’ originate? The complexities of my life can be distilled to simply answer, the ‘dichotomy of abandonment and attachment’, leaving me with a deep soul longing, that can only be filled internally through spiritual practice.

As I meditate and practice all eight limbs of a spiritual yoga practice, my ‘just enough place’ is much easier to find. How about yours?

peace,

zoey

 

Women | Life | Health: The Importance of Family

It was a great pleasure to share in 93rd birthday celebrations with my dad!

Family is so important.

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Oh Wow! Shoot For the Stars!

Ten years or so ago, my husband and I were on a holiday to Los Cabos, staying at The Melia. On one of our walks, we went up to the Cabo Real Golf Course and standing on the crest of a hill, with an incredible vista before us, made a pact that within ten years, we would have purchased a condo in Cabo. At that time, we had no idea how to accomplish this as with three daughters in the ‘orthodontic’ phase and headed towards College, finances were fully allocated. We returned home and slipped back into the flow of busy family life! I actually forgot about this pact until the other day, while on a walk up the same hill, with one of said daughters, currently in college. Something about the walk sparked a memory and I was able to share this story, knowing that we had accomplished our dream, having purchased a beautiful little condo the previous March.

So, shoot for the stars and you can walk in star dust!

namaste,

zoey

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Topaz Lotus Eco Living: 5 Steps of a Sacred Spiritual Practice

Practicing Yoga

 

Topaz Lotus Eco Living: Sacred Spiritual Practice

 

On the days (and I try for most mornings), that I complete my sacred spiritual practice, I find that the day unfolds more smoothly and mostly effortlessly.

Here is what I find fulfilling:

1. I start with a slow fluid sun salutation or some other gentle yoga postures.

2. Spiritual reading by authors such as Pema Chodron, Byron Katie, Eckhart Tolle, Deborah Adele is next.

3.  I have created a scrap book of beautiful images of gardens and landscapes and I often look through this.

4,  The 13 Moon Natural Time Calendar is a way of viewing time that fits for me as a woman who has lived by natural cycles, and I generally check to date according to this Mayan type calendar.

5.  I finish with some meditation.  Some days it is a couple of minutes and more often it is 10 minutes or so.

This wonderful start to my day usually takes 15 – 20 minutes and I just feel so much more depth to living and heart centered when I start my day with this sacred spiritual practice.

 

in peace & mindfulness

zoey

Topaz Lotus Inspired Living: A Quote to Start Your Day

 

Topaz Lotus Inspired Living: A Quote to Start Your Day

 

By Jelaluddin Rumi (13th century mystic poet)

 

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.

Don’t go back to sleep.

 

You must ask for what you really want.

Don’t go back to sleep.

 

People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds touch.

 

The door is round and open.

Don’t go back to sleep.

 

Have a wonderful weekend!

in mindfulness,

zoey

zoey ryan BSc., PCC, RYT

personal life coach for wise women

yoga & healthy life coaching to set your heart on fire and soothe your soul!

Women ~ Health ~ Life: Words of Wisdom

 

Women ~ Health ~ Life: Words of Wisdom

 

“She wrapped her own long arms around her shiny inner self & whispered, ‘It’s all right, I believe in you.”

~ author unknown

 

in mindfulness,

zoey

zoey ryan BSc., PCC, RYT

personal life coach for wise women

yoga & healthy life coaching to set your heart on fire and soothe your soul!

Topaz Lotus Inspired Eco Living: Quote of the Day

 

Topaz Lotus Inspired Eco Living: Quote of the Day

 

The more boundless your vision, the more real you are.

~ Deepak Chopra

 

Have a fabulous and unlimited day!

 

peace,

zoey

zoey ryan BSc., PCC, RYT

personal life coach for wise women

yoga & healthy life coaching to set your heart on fire and soothe your soul!

 

 

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