Women ~ Health ~ Life: Personal Reflections from a Yoga Life Coach
Sometimes, I feel like if I could just throw my head (actually my brain, no actually me thoughts) away, it would be the best thing in the world!
I have been driving myself crazy!
Oh my goodness, sometimes my curiosity and love of learning feels like it ‘bites me in the bum’!
Here is what is going on. Through out years of recovery from the addiction of alcoholism, spiritual reading ranging through New Thought Christianity, Buddhism and Yoga Philosophy, yoga and coach training, grounded in a foundation of Christian family values and an education that included psychology courses, I have learned to intellectually understand and be aware of my patterns of thought and self programed behavior. The result is that I have come face to face with the basic anxiety and edginess of life, full on with no way to dull this very uncomfortable feeling.
In my past I have used food, alcohol, work, technology, money/spending, books, exercise, planning, daydreaming, arguing, drama, sleeping (and I could go on) to dull or eliminate the deep restlessness and edginess that I understand may be present in many of us who live in the Western world. I try to push this feeling away, to deny it, to make up stories so that other people are responsible for this feeling and, wow, it is exhausting! I am exhausted by my thoughts, stories and dramas I have made up! I have tried ‘pushing all this away’, only to find my internal dialogue heating up and getting louder.
I have had no choice but to allow my feelings of restlessness and edginess to ‘just be’. I finally was so mentally tired from all the ‘squabbling’ in my brain and body, that I basically gave up. I stopped trying to push the discomfort away and in the allowing, I have found some semblance of gentleness and serenity. In the past I may have congratulated myself and said ‘oh great, I finally figured out life, now, I can really start to live well and teach others how to do this too’, however, what I have learned is that this self-congratulatory sentiment is often followed by a disagreeable life circumstance that quickly returns me to a sense of being incredibly humbled by my own arrogance!
So, with gentleness and unconditional love and self-acceptance, I go out to greet the day.
in peace & mindfulness,
zoey ryan BSc., PCC, RYT
Your personal yoga lifestyle coach
life coaching for wise women
yoga & healthy life coaching to set your heart on fire and soothe your soul!