I love the following quote by ee cummings, one of my favourite poets. It brings to the discussion the element of courage, which is an attribute vitally important to great self-care, which is the topic today.
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its
best day and night to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.â€
e.e.
cummings
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As the quote says, being yourself can be hard, in fact I say, being yourself and taking care of yourself takes courage, lots of courage. As women in our culture, many of us have been taught that it is our duty to take care of others, to put the needs or our kids, our elderly parents, our partners, our jobs, our community before our needs. Think of all the ways you take care of others in your life. Yes, this is a valuable and important part of life for many women and yes, often it can get out of hand. Think of your priority list, what or who is at the top of it? I hope you see your name there right at the top.
In my coaching practice, I often hear, “oh I couldn’t possibly put myself at the top of the list, that would be selfishâ€. Really, or would it be self less?
This shift from selfish to selfless is so well illustrated by the safety talk on airplane flights. The first time we flew with our baby daughter I was shocked when the flight attendant said if there was an emergency I should put my oxygen mask on first and then put the mask on my baby daughter. Instinctively I felt that I should put my baby’s mask on first but as I listened to the rest of the safety talk I had a light bulb moment. Of course I needed to put my mask on first because if I was deprived of oxygen, if I passed out, then who would take care of my baby? I shifted to thinking it was selfish to put my mask on first to it being selfless!
It is similar in life. As women, if we do not give ourselves positively outrageous self care and ensure that we are happy, healthy, fulfilled then how can we possibly “show up†in the rest of our lives and engage in relationships with others? We need to put our oxygen mask on first!
So, what is your oxygen mask? What are those large and small elements of self care that are vitally important to you feeling the most you, to feeling healthy, happy, whole and grounded? Let me know!
namaste,
Zoey
coach . catalyst . shakti sage
life & business coach for women