I have just spent this weekend helping someone very close to me leave an abusive relationship and this stirs up so much! I also happen to be reading “The Sociopath Next Door”, which is very interesting and chilling.
Firstly, I want to acknowledge this woman for “getting out, for leaving, for asking for help”, she is incredibly courageous.
I have known the statistics on all types of abuse for a long time, however I want to re-state what I have heard/know: 1 in 4 women will suffer some type of abuse during their lifetime (I believe that for men it is 1 in 6), there are generational cycles of abuse, abuse can be legitimized (war), abuse is about power and control.
From a macro perspective, I believe we must move out of the “dominator model” to a “partnership model” (read Riane Eisler’s work), we must not be silent about abuse, as this perpetuates the cycle. This movement, this social change is what I believe my life purpose is.
From a community perspective I believe we must look at new and innovative ways of working with abusers. In my opinion, our current justice system may exacerbate rather than alleviate, it is like treating violence with violence. I am interested in some of the “old is new again” social justice programs such as family/community healing circles and restorative justice.
From the individual perspective, I believe we must stop “blaming the victim” and offer openess, understanding and support!
In the book “The Sociopath Next Door” the distinction is made that most of the population who are not sociopathic (96% of us) are able to feel and access love, compassion and empathy. I am so grateful today for the ability to feel these emotions.
Our world will be healed as we move from “the love of power to the power of love” (“Awakening the Global Heart” by Anodea Judith).
Today may I/you/all be filled with lovingkindness, may I/you/all be well, may I/you/all be peaceful and at ease, may I/you/all be well.
namaste,
Zoey
life & business coach for women