We have been talking a lot about self-care, what it is, how it shows up and plays out in oneâ€™s life and also how life events remind us that â€œlife itselfâ€ can be our spiritual practice.
I am feeling open, uncomfortable and vulnerable, kind of scared about â€œwearing my wounded heart on my sleeveâ€ and yet curious, grateful and in awe of the opportunities and connections that are coming my way through our familyâ€™s health adventures!Â From this place I share my thoughts on what self-care is not.
Self care is not self-improvement!
In coaching, my clients and I talk about self-care and the tendency is for many women to start making lists of how to improve. The lists often include: eat better, exercise more, start meditating, spend less, get organized, do more yoga, pray more, lose weight, spend more time with elderly parents and on it goes.
Self-improvement as a generalization, starts from the place of being â€œnot good enoughâ€, and â€œthereâ€™s room for improvementâ€ and certainly, there is a time and place for self-improvement (like, say, when you have just had a heart attack and there are a whack of new lifestyle changes to make).Â Yet, self â€“ improvement is different than self-care.
Self-care is about starting from the place of â€œI am enough, I am good enough, I have enough, there is enough, I know enough, I do enough.â€Â Â Â Self-care is about affirming â€œmy life is unfolding perfectly, in the right order, with the right events, in the right timing.â€Â Self-care is soft and gentle and respectful of your basic goodness.
For this week, your self care enchantments involve pondering self-care and self-improvement and deepening your â€œfelt senseâ€ or experience of the difference.
Self Care Enchantments for the week:
1.Â Read the descriptions of self-improvement and self care again, then stop, go inside yourself and see if you feel the difference in these two important concepts.Â Use the following questions to help:
– if you had to give the two concepts each a colour, what colours would you chose?
– when you say the phrases self-care and self-improvement where in your body to you feel each phrase?
– what does your heart say about each phrase?
– what does your head say about each phrase?
-hold each phrase in your hand (metaphorically), which one feels heavier?
2.Â Write about the above exercise and your â€œlearningâ€.
3.Â Honour and enjoy the flavour of the season by including harvest vegetables in your meals and/or in your home decorating.
â€œThe true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutchedâ€ – Henry David Thoreau
Zoey Ryan, PCC
coach . catalyst . shakti sage
life & business coach for women
“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business“