Inrageous/Outrageous Self-Care Enchantments for This Week
It has been an interesting week, with some virtual “push back†about the self care/self improvement discussion. Self care and self-improvement, are these two sides of the same coin? Is there a difference? How are these concepts different?
If one moves beyond an opinion into the less clear field of paradox, the following thoughts by Pema Chodron (from “Start Where You Areâ€) serve to broaden this discussion. In coaching, we look at life patterns and as you read the following paragraph, ask yourself which is your habitual life pattern, self-care or self-improvement?
“As long as you’re wanting to be thinner, smarter, more enlightened, less uptight, or whatever it might be, somehow you’re always going to be approaching your problem with the very same logic that created it to begin with: you’re not good enough. That’s why the habitual pattern never unwinds itself when you’re trying to improve, because you go about it in exactly the same habitual style that caused all the pain to start.â€
It feels like the pattern of improvement described above is similar to the “grass is always greener pattern†or, what I call the “I will fully start living my life when…†dynamic. Some examples of this are: once the kids start school I will get my life back; when I make more money I will be happier; when we finally retire, then I can relax; when I am at my ideal weight life will be better and so forth.
While both self-improvement and planning for the future can be beneficial and helpful, it is when a “habitual pattern†evolves and becomes our default pattern, that these processes can actually “bite us in the bumâ€. If our thinking continually goes to the future or the past it prevents us from fully living our lives in the present moment.
Starting to question one’s habitual patterns and default programs can take your self-care practice to a much deeper level.
Self Care Enchantments for the week:
1. Answer the following questions honestly and openly to yourself:
– How do I usually deal with stress and anxiety, what are my habitual default patterns?
- In what ways do I feel that I am “not enough†and then who would I be without this/these thought(s)?
2. Practice radical self-acceptance all week.
3. As the darkness approaches earlier in the day, treat yourself to a candle lit aromatherapy bath.
“The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched†– Henry David Thoreau
Zoey Ryan
coach . catalyst . shakti sage
life & business coach for women
“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business”