General, health & wellness, holistic health, midlife changes, women and self care, women's issues

Women’s Life- Self Care Enchantments for Oct 16, 2008

I spent about five hours straight at the computer last week, trying to book a vacation to a hot, sunny, beautiful place.  I spent so much time sitting in front of the screen that my body was aching, my right wrist on the verge of carpal tunnel syndrome!  I visited all the discount travel sites and cross checked all inclusives, cruises, flights and hotels.  I searched “Vacations Rental By Owner” and all the major holiday sites.  I searched everything within an 8 hour flight time of Vancouver.  I would get up for a few minutes to do something else but found I couldn’t concentrate and back to the computer I went to search yet again for a wonderful vacation.


Now, here is the insane part, we already have a vacation booked!


This is what I do when “real everyday life” feels too hard, I plan vacations.  My husband does it too.  We each do it separately and we do it together, we love planning vacations.  Some we go on and some we just talk about.  This is one of our habitual ways of escaping reality.


I used to drink to escape reality.  I finally figured out that the booze really wasn’t my best friend and I stopped!


The day of the marathon computer search, I intellectually understood what I was doing; I knew that I felt restless, my thinking was scattered and I couldn’t settle down.  I knew that if I did just stop, I would likely burst into tears with the frustration of unanswered questions about our health.  I knew all this in my head, yet I couldn’t get my body to relax into it, I couldn’t self sooth.  Until; I remembered some of my learning about breathing into the pain.


So, I sat breathing in frustration, fear, pain, sadness, restlessness and breathing out expansiveness, spaciousness, joy, calm peacefulness.  Each breath was separate and special.  I couldn’t help it, a giggle escaped and I laughed and laughed at myself, at my insanity, at my usual way of escaping, at my goofiness and I realized, hey, this is unconditional friendship with myself.  I sat longer, continuing to breathe and I made friends with the present moment.  I welcomed the pain and sadness and insanity and sank into the beauty of the day.


We started this questioning last week, that is, a deeper exploration of one’s habitual patterns and default programs and your enchantments for this week continue in this theme.


Self Care Enchantments for the week:


1.  Answer the following question honestly and openly to yourself: what methods do I use to “escape” reality?


2.  Play around with the notion of “unconditional love”, for yourself, your kids, your family.  If you are really up for a challenge, try it out on someone you are angry with!


3.  In some traditions, a soul year ends the day before the first day of Advent.  If you chose to, consider your past “soul year”, what is ending, what is completing, what is asking to be celebrated?


“The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched” – Henry David Thoreau


Please share about your learning and exploration with these enchantments in the comments section of these enchantments!






Zoey Ryan

coach . catalyst . shakti sage

life & business coach for women

“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business”



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