I experienced the sharp pain of grief recently, in fact, I’m still feeling it, it hurts, I’m heart broken and I’m suffering.
I received the tragic news that a dear friend died. She was very close to my age, same birth year in fact and a close friend during University. We were part of a ‘gang of girl pals’ who hung out together, pushed the envelope on curfew rules at the strict Lutheran College we attended in first year, danced together at socials, ‘studied’ together, celebrated together and consoled each other when things went wrong. I was there the night she met her ‘husband to be’. We were bridesmaids at each others weddings.
My friend was full of life, energy, giggles and ‘sparkles’, and she suffered too. The suffering finally became too much for her.
In the midst of the pain, the sadness, the grief, as I remember with compassion that yes, I am suffering and that yes, suffering is part of the human condition, I can greet my suffering with kindness. In kind mindfulness, I feel into my body to find the clenched areas, the painful areas, the clenched gut, the broken heart, the sad eyes, the brain that won’t turn off, the mind on replay. I feel into my body with ‘kindfulness’ to soften, soothe and allow my feelings and I am able to feel more than grief. I become grateful for the honour of knowing my dear friend, for her friendship, for her love, for the good times and the down times, the giggles and the laughter and I feel a profound sense of compassion and peace.
I am reminded of the great circle of life.