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Women | Health | Life: Words of Wisdom – Living A Life With Heart

Living a Life With Heart: Values and Needs

During the next few weeks, the theme for posting will be ‘the heart’ in honour of Valentines Day and the spirit of love!

From my perspective as a life, leadership & executive coach, living a life with heart includes living a life anchored in clear and deeply held values and understanding how unmet needs might get in the way of this.

I want to share my process in this area of values and needs.  Prior to completing my coach training, I had a vague idea of all of this stuff.  I figured I was pretty clear on my values, sort of knew the meaning and difference between a value and a need and I have to say was pretty darn smug.  Through my coach training, which included a lot of introspection and journaling, what I learned about myself was actually shocking to me.  I learned that for basically my entire life, I had been operating my life from a place of unmet needs rather than from a place of clearly known and held values.  I had thought I was so clear on who I was and where I was going, that learning new information about myself was unsettling.  Now, from the perspective of time, I see that this was very important “unsettling”, it was like stirring up the bottom of a clear mountain lake and dislodging bits of garbage that had been caught on sunken tree branches.  Self-reflection and introspection, allowed the garbage to float to the surface to be skimmed off and thrown away.  Developing clarity around my crystal and rubber values and about my needs has allowed me to take control of my life and create my future to be in alignment with my deeply held crystal values.

So, to further set context and share  common language, I offer the following definitions and in doing this I have drawn from these resources: Webster’s dictionary, “The Portable Coach” by Thomas Leonard, “Co-Active Coaching” by Whitworth, Kimsey and House and the “Professional Foundations for Masterful Coaches” program by Jeanine Sandstrom and Lee Smith.

A Value: something intrinsically valuable or desirable, human rather than material.  Values are the essence of who you are.  Values are principles that you hold to be of worth in your life and are the activities, preferences or behaviours that you are naturally drawn to and that attract you.  Values are those things considered right, worthwhile and desirable-the basis for guiding principles and standards.  Values fulfill you.

A Need: implies a lack of something requisite, desirable or useful.  Needs are resources, people, feelings, situations, or environments you must have in order to be your best.  Meeting needs gives a sense of satisfaction and there is often a sense of urgency around needs.

Now, a couple more definitions in the area of values and I want to thank Betty Healey, a fellow coach with the Strategic Attraction Community for sharing this.

A crystal value: is a value that is so important to you that if it is not incorporated into your life, causes your life to shatter.  Think of what happens if you drop a crystal ball.  Taking the crystal ball imagery further, a crystal value calls you forward into your future.

A rubber value: is a value that is important but that can bounce away, out of your life and then back again, like a rubber ball with out you feeling dissonance.

What do you think your values and needs are?  If you would like some help with this, let me know!  That’s what a coach is for.

In peace & mindfulness,



coaching for your heart & soul

inspirational catalyst for personal development and leadership skills & development

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