Continuing with the story about women and the heart….
Some background; for the past 20 years or so, I have been delving into what used to be called ‘New Age Spirituality’, and now I simply call it ‘my spirituality’. My spirituality feels like a personal and unique blend of Christianity and Buddhism, with hints of other major religions thrown in with a lot of meditation and yoga. I’ve read many self help, personal development, integral theory, and new age spirituality books. As a working mom and professional woman, I did a mid-life career shift (after a couple of decades working as a Nutritionist ) and took professional training into life & leadership coaching, using a body centered, whole systems orientation.
About three years ago, my husband informed me that two ‘suspicious spots’ had been seen on his lung. Not long after, I attended a seminar about critical illness insurance for the self-employed business woman and decided I needed to take out this type of insurance as I had a family history of both cancer and heart disease. We were in a state of hopeful/hopeless anticipation of the results of his lung biopsy. To add to the health concern, my husband had also developed pulmonary emboli also known as lung clots, in both lungs.
As one may imagine, I was very worried about my husband, about our family, about how I would support three daughters as a professional woman if my husband died. My mind utilizes ‘worst case scenarioizing’ very well! At the time I was 51 years old.
I was also going through menopause and was taking a compounded progesterone for the symptoms.
We had just returned from a sailing trip where we had ‘weathered’ a significant storm of over 40 km per hour winds and where our engine had almost failed, resulting in a very scary couple of hours on the water with an accompanying surge of adrenalin.
To re-cap, between us; we had money worries due to reduced income, health worries, significant additional stress, menopause, three daughters to support and help with college, possible lung cancer, a really bad scare, pulmonary emboli and a recently purchased critical illness policy. I also found out later that I had undiagnosed ‘essential hypertension’ or high blood pressure. I had ‘gained a few pounds’ over the past years although I regularly exercised, was a non smoker and drinker and ate in a healthy way! I looked pretty healthy for my age.
I engaged in daily meditation and walks and was reading a lot of Buddhist teachings about ‘keeping the heart open’ and without actually being trained in the practice, using a breathing practice called tonglen , where you breathe in the pain of the world and breathe out clear healing love.
What happened was that I was ‘broken hearted’! My heart literally broke!
On a Monday morning after a ‘power walk’ and coffee, I experienced shortness of breath and felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. This heavy sensation wasn’t in any way painful, but it was uncomfortable. I had a tiny bit of pain in my neck and right shoulder. The ‘heavy’ sensation came and went about three times after which I googled ‘symptoms of a heart attack in women’. I basically had all the symptoms and had my daughter drive me to the hospital half of me thinking that I was having a panic attack and in my mind, calling myself a ‘drama queen’ and the other half, the holistic health half saying ‘listen to your body and take this seriously’! I’m very fortunate that I did listen to my inner wisdom and trust my body’s messages!
I was not having a panic attack, I had in fact had a ‘spontaneous coronary artery dissection (SCAD)’, where an flap of tissue from inside my heart artery tore off the wall of the heart and blocked the blood flow, resulting in a heart attack or MI. I found out later that this type of heart attack is diagnosed in 70% of the cases upon autopsy and is not very common. It happens more often in women and is associated with stress and changes in hormones and blood pressure. It has sometimes been called ‘Japanese Widows Syndrome’, as when a Japanese woman would suffer a heart attack and die, just after her husband’s death! In the hospital, my Cardiologist, Dr. Hamburger said that I had a ‘broken heart’, likely in some part caused by stress about my husband. If you google ‘SCAD’, you will find much more information
This may all sound very sad and upsetting and yes, it is and it was. However, as a result of all of the above, our lives are better and we will live healthier and longer! I can summarize the good results as:
– my ‘essential hypertension’ and ‘Syndrome X’ was diagnosed and I am now on appropriate medication.
– my husband was found to have a ‘clotting deficiency’ and likely would have died young from a heart attack but is now on the appropriate medication.
– as a result of thinking he had ‘lung cancer’ (he doesn’t) , my husband’s doctor reacted very quickly to my husband’s back pain (caused by the blood clots in his lung), which likely save his life.
– we both made further major healthy lifestyle changes.
– I received a significant critical illness claim which has helped tremendously with our daughters’ post secondary education!
– I have developed a very healthy respect for the power of spiritual practices and am daily reminded of what a beginner I am!
– I appreciate every day that I am alive and my family is well.
– I still chuckle that a former dietitian (moi) would have a Cardiologist named Dr. Hamburger!
– I tell my story to help inform other women about heart disease, the symptoms of a heart attack in women and SACAD, so that any woman feeling ‘weird sensations’ (heaviness, difficulty catching your breath, tightness in chest, shortness of breath) in her chest, will go immediately to the closest hospital emergency ward! Please check with your local health authority for a complete list of heart attack symptoms in women. In Canada, the Heart and Stroke Foundation is a great resource!
– I practice meditation and yoga and have a wonderful life! I’m not quite sure what to make about the financial windfall part of this, however, I believe the ‘law of attraction’ was at play!
My life lessons from this experience?
– trust your inner wisdom
– listen to your body messages
– we are more connected than we think
– the mind body connection is powerful!
– trust that even though sad things happen, there is a bigger stronger more powerful loving force at work!
– the law of attraction is powerful!
– women are wise
– sometimes bad things turn out to be good things
– pay attention to life work balance
– have fun, be joyful, love!
Please share this information with other women and be aware that heart disease and stroke are big health issues for women and take good care of your heart and your health!
in peace & mindfulness,
namaste,
Zoey